I've been working on this post for a few days now- writing and deleting and re-writing paragraphs, in an unsuccessful attempt to communicate the revelations of my heart.  With each attempt, the words come up short.  

In 2016, I charged towards a door I've longed to enter through, only to have that door closed before me, again.  And as I reflected on the other path God led me down, and dreamed into where that path may lead in 2017, He spoke to me about coming alive.  He reminded me that Jesus is in my midst, and there is life to embrace in the slowness and simplicity, as well as in the charging forward.  This song says it better than I.  

i abandon my addiction to the certainty of life
and my need to know everything
this illusion cannot speak, it cannot walk with me at night
as i taste life’s fragility

i am looking for a savior i can see and know and touch
one who dwells within the midst of us
May a broken God be known within the earth beneath our feet,
let our souls behold humility
let our souls behold humility

when our plans become the casualties of getting through the day
and we begin to know our weakness
and denial isn’t strong enough to hold our fears at bay
and we can’t escape our emptiness

i see the sympathy of heaven in the earth and wind and trees
i see hope within the morning sun

i am searching for meaning
i am looking for healing
i am haunted by your reflection
i was blinded by my addictions
i am torn apart by the dying
i am giving up on escaping
will i learn to live without taking
will i learn to see beauty in the making

I can’t pretend to know
the beginning from the end
But there’s beauty in the life thats given
we may bless or we may curse
every twist and every turn
will we learn to know the joy of living

(United Pursuit; Looking for a Savior)

May you walk with a Jesus you can see and know and touch, despite all uncertainty and twists in your story.  May you see the beauty He weaves into the days you are given.  May your 2017 be filled with the joy of living.